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From “Baby Einstein” videos to flash cards, in order to learn their letters, some toddlers are now getting daily lessons from their parents long before they enter pre-school.

Alecia McLaughlin reads a lot to her two-and-a-half year old daughter, Alana, and is also teaching her to use a computer.

“You don’t want them going to pre-school and to be behind the other kids – or not know what’s going on,” she says.

But at the same time, she wants Alana to learn more than just numbers and letters.

“Learning to take turns, learning to listen to other grownups – that’s a big one,” she says.

Many experts couldn’t agree more. A new survey of 350 pre-school teachers found that 80 percent believe parents are not teaching kids what they really need to know, in order to succeed in school; not the ABC’s but how to share, make friends and follow directions.

“Those children who have more of the focus on the academics, but don’t know how to get along with other children or who have difficulty listening to another adult or following directions, they have more trouble in school,” says Laura Mee, Ph.D., a psychologist with Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta.

“And I think school becomes more of a negative experience for them. And then what you have is a child who knows the academic part early on, but doesn’t want to go to school.”

Dr. Mee says anything that gets young children into group activities – whether it’s art classes, gyms for toddlers or neighborhood playgroups – can improve your child’s social skills.

“By three and four, understanding sharing, waiting your turn [are concepts] you can work with other mothers [on] in a playgroup setting,” she says, “to help children become more acclimated to those things, before moving to a more structured setting.”

Alana is part of a playgroup that allows her to learn from other kids, and for her mom to learn what social skills still need some work.

“You can see right away if your child’s not used to sharing with other kids,” says Mrs. McLaughlin. “It’s a great opportunity to have them be with other children.”

What We Need To Know

• Don’t get caught up in the competitive atmosphere. Some children may learn to read earlier than your child, but such achievements will likely have no bearing on their future success in school. (Dr. Laura Mee, Pediatric Psychologist)




• There are basic skills every child should have before going to pre-school – including how to dress themselves, the ability to write their own name, draw basic shapes, and hold his or her pencil correctly. (U.S. Department of Education)




• Read to you child every day, but also find learning ‘moments’ throughout the day. Learning for a pre-school child should be, above everything else, fun. (National Education Association)

Resources

• National Coalition for Parent Involvement in Education




• U.S. Department of Education




• National Education Association

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