“Things that [a parent] should not say are things like ‘slow down, start over, take a deep breath, [and] think before you talk.’ Many of these are the classics that parents are, in fact, doing ‘cause they’re desperate to help their child; they’re very frustrated by it.”

– Tim Mackesey, speech pathologist and board-recognized specialist in fluency disorders

About five percent of children in the U.S. suffer from stuttering. While there is still no cure for this speech disorder, new research suggests many kids will improve on their own – if their parents don’t overreact.

The hard part, however, is knowing when and how to react.

At three-years-old, Brendan Borders’ parents noticed he was stuttering.

His stutter is obvious in a video shot at the time by his speech pathologist.

“’Cause he’s me-me-me-me-mean,” Brendan says in the video, putting his hand over his mouth.

“It came on pretty quick,” explains Mark, Brendan’s dad. “I mean, from the time we first noticed it to the time where you’re like, ‘we’re in a crisis here,’ was probably less than two weeks.”

For toddlers, “um’s” and “ah’s” or mild stuttering is common. But Brendan was physically struggling to get his words out – a sign, experts say, that intervention is needed.

But what kind of intervention? The advice wasn’t clear.

“We didn’t know what to say,” remembers Mark, “’cause we had always heard that when someone’s a stutterer, you don’t bring [it to] their attention, because that makes it worse.”

But speech pathologist Tim Mackesey says the concept of bringing attention to a child’s stutter is “full of presuppositions.”

Mackesey says that, first, don’t be critical or let your child know the stuttering bothers you.

“Responding by saying slow down, start over, those kinds of things are not helpful,” he says. “Those will bring attention to stuttering in a negative way. The child becomes more self-conscious about it.”

Secondly, he says, is to teach them by modeling. Speak slowly, calmly and gently.

“Remember, the adult has a sophisticated speech model – their language, their articulation. A child doesn’t. So if a parent slows down, a child is prone to slowing down too, to kind of match their speech.”

Mark says this change helped Brendan to calm down his stutter.

“We decided that we probably spoke too fast around the house,” he says. “So we did kind of slow down the tone or the, I guess, the tempo of what we were saying – to just have a better conversation with a three-year-old child.”

With the help from a therapist and his parents, Brendan’s stuttering is almost gone.

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• Many children, ages three to five, do have a stutter. But if physical and facial tension, word replacement or eye blinking accompanies the stutter, it may be time to see a therapist. (Tim Mackesey, speech pathologist)




• If you think your child has a stutter, educate yourself on the different treatment options for stuttering. (National Stuttering Association)




• Be patient with your child. Avoid completing your child’s sentences or telling them to “hurry up” or “spit it out.” Show them that what they are saying is more important than how they are saying it. (National Stuttering Association)




• Remember – your child is just as frustrated as you are. Be reassuring and show your support by using positive reinforcement, such as “I know it’s hard for you to talk sometimes, but lots of people get stuck on words… it’s okay.” (The Stuttering Foundation of America)

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• American Speech-Language-Hearing Association




• The National Center for Stuttering




• National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders

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