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Today’s TV parents are a far cry from June and Ward Cleaver.

Tony Soprano is a criminal, Homer Simpson abuses his son, and Peggy Bundy neglects her children.

Experts say dysfunctional families on television can create problems for real families.

“It sort of validates the idea of dysfunctional relationships,” says Bradd Shore, the director of the Emory Center for Myth and Ritual in American life. “Rather than saying ‘maybe there’s a way that we can learn to sort of live better together,’ it really says, ‘Well, everybody’s like this.’”

He says the Jerry Springer Show is the extreme example of family dysfunction.

“And people who watch [those programs] look and say, ‘my family may be a problem, but it’s not that screwed up,’” says Dr. Shore.

He says families from the old days of television may have been too ideal, or too perfect – but they served a purpose.

“To strive for something which is a bit idealized is not necessarily a bad thing,” says Shore, “so long as it’s not so idealized that it makes people feel terrible about themselves.”

He says one thing the Cleavers did right was letting their kids simply be kids.

“The notion of hyperactive is used about kids,” says Shore, “but it’s also true about families. Families are sort of groomed to be kind of constantly activity-oriented, where the activities are often professionalized. They are at lessons, or they have personal trainers for the kids and that sort of thing. And I think that sometimes we forget just to let the kids play.”

What We Need To Know

• Limit your family’s exposure to television. Children should watch no more than two hours of television a day. (American Academy of Pediatrics)
• Consider some of the healthier behaviors exemplified in 50’s television. For example, it’s important for families to eat dinner together. Emory University research indicates that when families eat dinner together, kids score higher on tests of self-esteem and psychological resilience. (Bradd Shore, Ph.D., Director, Emory Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life)
• While modern life has made it difficult for families to spend time together every night, designate specific times that are exclusively for family. If it’s not possible to eat dinner together all the time, try to do it at least two or three times per week. (Bradd Shore, Ph.D., Director, Emory Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life)
• Parents may have to set limits on their children’s activities to make time for family. (Bradd Shore, Ph.D., Director, Emory Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life)
• It’s important for children to talk to their parents. Emory research shows children who spend time engaged in conversation with family members have higher degrees of empathy for other people than children who don’t. (Bradd Shore, Ph.D., Director, Emory Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life)
• Grab moments with your children where you can. Use time in the car for conversation, and be sure to pass down stories of your family’s history. Research shows these stories help children feel grounded. (Bradd Shore, Ph.D., Director, Emory Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life)

Resources

• Emory Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life
• American Academy of Pediatrics

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