<!–

–><!–

–>

What We Need To Know | Resources

All Stories

<!–

–>

Comment

Print this Story | E-Mail this Story

<!–a href="#" target="_blank"></a–>

You’ve bought the crayons, the backpack and the perfect lunchbox.  Soon, your son or daughter will be heading off to kindergarten.  But how do you prevent a tearful scene when you leave your child that first day of school?

Kyle is excited for kindergarten, but he’s also a little scared about the bus ride home.

His mom Emily Buteau says, “He keeps saying, ‘Well, where are you going to be, Mommy?’  And I keep saying, ‘I’m going to be waiting right there at the stop sign, and then we’ll walk back to the house together.’”

Kids like Kyle, going off to school for the first time, have lots of questions.  Robyn Golwyn, a kindergarten teacher at Atlanta Academy knows the questions well. “Will the teacher like me? Where’s the water fountain?  Where am I going to put my coat?  Where am I going to put my lunch?  How am I going to eat?”

Teachers say the best way to calm fears is to discuss in detail what kindergarten is like.  Emily says, “I’ve been trying to say, ‘Okay, you are going to have lunchtime.  And you are going to have snack in the morning, and then you are going to have a little rest period.’” 

Kyle’s father Mike Buteau says, “Telling him, you know the school bus will pick you up, the school bus will take you home.  Mommy will be here waiting for you.  You’ll have teachers.  All your friends will be there.”

Robyn says, “The best thing for parents to do before children come to school, is to maybe even come to school a couple days before, a week before, just kind of tour the classroom.”

Kyle and his mom also practice going to the bus stop.   Kyle asks, “Are you going to be here?”  His mom says yes.

There are lots of children’s books about the first day of school.  Experts say read one to your child, and talk about what happens to the characters.  Robyn suggests,  “And dropping them off on the first day, say, ‘Oh, remember how Buddy the Bear got to school and how wonderful it was for him, and the experience he had, and how many friends he made, and he played with Play-doh?’ And think of all the things you can do at school.”

Mike says, “The one thing we’re hoping for is just that he enjoys it and wants to get up every day and wants to go to school.”

What We Need To Know

According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), it is common for young children to experience anxiety related to attending kindergarten, along with the new challenges of elementary school. Experts at the AACAP have determined the following:

• Kindergarten can be especially hard because the child is used to being with the parents and will not want to spend a long period of time without them.
• Years when big transitions are made, such as the start of elementary school, may be especially stressful.
• The child may avoid school after experiencing a life change, such as parents divorcing, death of a pet or loved one, or moving to a new neighborhood.

How can you determine if your child is experiencing school anxiety? The Children’s Hospital of Iowa (CHI) suggests your child may be experiencing school-related stress if he or she:

• Complains of headaches and chronic stomachaches.
• Experiences difficulty sleeping.
• Appears grouchy and feels tired.
• Has a hard time making decisions.
• Is afraid to be left in a room alone.
• Is clingy and follows a parent around.
• Worries a lot about himself or herself and loved ones getting hurt.
• Experiences nightmares.
• Throws tantrums when forced to go to school.

If your child is experiencing anxiety as he or she prepares to enter preschool or kindergarten, you can take several steps to make the transition smoother. The Federal Citizen Information Center (FCIC) offers the following advice for preparing your young child for the first-day milestone:

• Tell your child in advance that he or she will be going to school soon.
• Be positive and reassure your child that school is a good place.
• Never use school as a threat or a means to change your child’s behavior.
• Prepare for new school experiences by using puppets or by role-playing some enjoyable school activities.
• Read age-appropriate books about going to school to help your child know what to expect. Or work with your child to make a storybook about going to school.




• Provide your child with an opportunity to experience the new school. If possible, have your child meet the teacher, see the classroom and tour the building. If this isn’t feasible, driving to the school and letting your child see and walk around the outside of the building can be helpful.




• Prepare the night before by planning meals, clothes and transportation.
• Consider riding the bus with your child the first day. Check with your child’s school to be sure this is allowed, but don’t go along if your child seems embarrassed.
• Let your child bring a security object to school, like a stuffed toy, or give your child your photo to keep.

Don’t be too concerned if your child cries and refuses to leave your side on the first day of school. The experts at FCIC say that clinging and crying are healthy coping mechanisms in very young children, so don’t overreact. The most important thing to remember is to make sure your child does not feel abandoned and unloved.

If your child’s fears about starting school are persistent and begin to cause serious educational or social problems, the AACAP suggests taking your child to see a child and adolescent psychiatrist. Unreasonable fears about leaving the home and parents can be successfully treated, and parents should not hesitate to seek professional help. The child’s physician can refer the parents to a child and adolescent psychiatrist.

Severe anxiety problems in children can be treated. Early treatment can prevent future difficulties, such as loss of friendships, failure to reach social and academic potential, and feelings of low self-esteem. Treatments for your child may include a combination of the following:

• Individual psychotherapy
• Family therapy
• Medications
• Behavioral treatments
• Consultation to the school

It is important to get help early. If left untreated, your child’s anxiety can become worse and continue to cause long-term mental health problems as he or she gets older.

Resources

• American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
• Children’s Hospital of Iowa
• Federal Citizen Information Center

Top ˆ