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Often the words “domestic violence” conjure up the image of a man who abuses his wife or children. But sometimes, the violent person in the house is a teen.

16-year-old Brandon Kennedy used to fight with his sister, his classmates, and once he even threatened a teacher.

Then, one day, Brandon says, he pushed his mom. “And I wasn’t thinking because when I get angry, I don’t think,” he says. “That’s a problem I have.”

His mom Sara called the police. “We were at our last point. We didn’t know what to do,” says Sara. “He’d been having so much trouble in school, he wouldn’t listen to us.”

The court sent a therapist to the home, who told Brandon when he felt angry to stop – and write in a journal. “To tell you the truth, I didn’t think that would work,” says Brandon. “I thought he was kidding me – ‘cause, to me, diaries are for females.”

But, to Brandon’s surprise, the journal worked.

“And I’d go to my room and I’d write in my journal,” he says, “and sometimes I’d curse in my journal and get real mad in my journal. And I just shut the book and come back out, and everything would be alright.”

The journal helped Brandon to express his feelings without hurting another person.

“It was a release for him, it was a way for him to get down on paper how he was feeling, what he was thinking,” says Alesia Brooks, area director with Community Solutions, which provides therapy to Brandon and other troubled youth.

Brooks says that eventually, Brandon used what he wrote in his journal to tell other people how he felt.

“Brandon just didn’t know how to say what he needed to say in a way that wasn’t aggressive or violent,” she says. “And so the therapist worked with the family on how to speak to one another.”

Brandon is now in a 12 week, military-style program, to learn discipline, respect and the skills to avoid an argument. “In the future,” he says, “I’ll probably learn to respect the other person and listen to their side, their opinion.”

What We Need To Know

• If your child’s temper is out of control, seek professional help for anger management. (National Mental Health Information Center)




• If an argument arises in the home, allow everyone time to cool down before discussing the situation further. Encourage kids to stop and count to ten, deep breathe, or write in a journal when they feel angry. (National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center)




• Exercising, meditating, talking with someone you trust, writing, and drawing are all good ways for kids to express feelings. (National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center)




• Encourage everyone in the family to keep their voices “slow and low” when they feel angry. (Centers For Disease Control and Prevention, BAM! Guide to Getting Along)




• Angry people tend to jump to conclusions. Often, those conclusions prove to be inaccurate. Work on better communication skills as a family. Don’t say the first thing that jumps into your head. Think carefully, and take time to listen to the other person. (American Psychological Association, Controlling Anger – Before it Controls You)

Resources

• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, BAM! Guide to Getting Along!




• American Psychological Association, Controlling Anger – Before it Controls You




• Multisystemic Therapy, Treatment Model for Juvenile Offenders

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