<!–

–><!–

–>

What We Need To Know | Resources

All Stories

<!–

–>

Comment

Print this Story | E-Mail this Story

<!–a href="#" target="_blank"></a–>

The statistics are mind blowing – according to Teen Research Unlimited, one in three teenagers have experienced some form of violence in a dating relationship. The abuse can be verbal, emotional, or sexual – but it’s always painful.

In Amanda Kramer’s case, it started when she was 14 – and had met her then-boyfriend.

“It was one of those, ‘oh my gosh, I can’t believe this boy likes me and I like him,’ and it almost felt like a fairy tale,” she remembers.

Over the course of their four years together, however, he became angry and verbally abusive.

Amanda says he would yell at her: “‘you slut, you look like a whore, go home and change! I don’t believe that you would dress like that! Everyone’s looking at you.”

Jealousy, abuse, control – experts say these emotions and actions are red flags that teens often misinterpret.

“They think that it means, ‘oh, they really like me, oh this is, you know, this is really a good thing’,” says Kim Frndak, a domestic violence specialist. “’I feel secure now because, you know, he’s watching my every move’.”

Frndak says that, often, victims never say a word – so their parents just don’t know that the abuse is going on. But, she says, there are warning signs.

“There may be isolation, there may be nervousness around the telephone ringing, there may be telephone calls coming to your child’s cell phone all hours of the night,” she says.

And, as the relationship worsens, the teen can spiral into depression.

“All the signs of depression would certainly show up if there’s dating violence after a period of time,” says Frndak, “because a person’s self-esteem begins to become eroded.”

Amanda tried several times to leave her boyfriend before she was finally successful.

Through it all, she says, she learned a very important lesson – “there is a relationship that can thrive on stability and nurture and love.”

What We Need To Know

• Abusive behaviors include: someone controlling what your child wears, name-calling, isolating them from friends, hitting and shoving – and unwanted sexual advances. (National Center for Victims of Crime)
• Other warning signs that your child may be in an abusive relationship include: changes in eating and sleep habits, bruises, a drop in grades, skipping school, nightmares, mood swings and anger. (Dating Violence Resource Center)
• Keep an open line of communication with your teen. Meet their current girlfriend or boyfriend. Ask them questions and get to know his or her family. (Kim Frndak, Domestic Violence Specialist)

Resources

• National Women’s Health Information Center
• U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
• The National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center

Top ˆ