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Every night, six-year-old Ollie puts up a fight when his mom serves him dinner.

“No! I’m not having it,” he screams. “I can’t have all this!”

“You can take a little bit of each,” says his mom, Madeline.

Ollie is a picky eater. He hates vegetables, most kinds of meat – and today he’s refusing a cucumber.

“Mom, ” Ollie shouts, “don’t you know I’m angry because I don’t want any!”

“Try the things that you like,” offers Madeline.

Experts say that when kids refuse a particular food, some parents will try to force them to eat – and that’s a mistake.

“You are using pressure as a feeding strategy,” says Rachel Brandeis, a registered dietician, “and that pressure as a feeding strategy can increase the pickiness – because then it becomes a control issue.”

And then, when it’s a control issue, it becomes about who wins.

Madeline understands the games picky eaters play.

“If I’m persistent and I’ll say, ‘Well, buddy I’m going to sit here with you as long as it takes for your plate to get somewhat clean,’ and then we start the negotiating process,” she says. “’Well, what if I just eat one piece? What if I only eat half?’”

Experts say that if the issue is vegetables, for example, parents should offer them every day. It may take years, but eventually your child may accept them.

“Well, I think your child will be used to seeing vegetables on the plate, that’s the key,” says Brandeis. “If you automatically say ‘my child doesn’t like fruit, or does not like any type of vegetable’, you’re not going to put it on the plate, your child will never be exposed to it.”

And, she says, parents need to be good role models.

“Even if you think your child is not getting enough fruits and vegetables, you need to make sure that you are eating fruits and vegetables,” says Brandeis, “that they are available in the house – so that your child sees what you are eating.”

She says that as long as parents stock the house with healthy foods, chances are that whatever your child eats, it will be okay.

Research shows picky eaters are not nutrient deficient – because so much of our food supply, like cereal, for example, is fortified. But experts say that parents who are really concerned that their children refuse to eat vegetables can give their kids a multi-vitamin.

What We Need To Know

• Many parents stop offering a particular food after a child refuses it once or twice. But research shows it may take 12 to 15 exposures for a child to accept a new food. (American Dietetic Association)
• If your child refuses to eat a particular food, offer it in a different way. For example, if your child doesn’t like sautéed spinach, try putting it in lasagna, or offering a spinach salad with dressing. (Rachel Brandeis, Registered Dietician)
• Many parents have found successful ways to disguise foods their children refuse to eat. If your child doesn’t like zucchini, put it into a muffin or grate it into a homemade spaghetti sauce. There is no need to point out the obvious. (Rachel Brandeis, Registered Dietician)
• Put vegetables on a pizza, and hide them under the cheese. (Madeline Livingston, Mother)
• Children often find raw vegetables more palatable then cooked vegetables. (Rachel Brandeis, Registered Dietician)
• It’s important to expose picky eaters to a variety of foods. Allow children to wash, handle, or even play with foods they don’t like. Have them help you make a meal in the kitchen. (American Dietetic Association)
• Although parents should not force picky children to eat something they refuse, never allow kids to dictate what foods come into the house. That is a parent’s job. (American Dietetic Association)
• Similarly, parents should not let picky children demand to eat at a certain restaurant. Parents choose where the family eats. (American Dietetic Association)
• Do not make a separate meal for your picky eater. Allow children to go hungry once in a while – to realize there are consequences to picky eating. If your child refuses to eat dinner, chances are they will be hungry for breakfast. (Rachel Brandeis, Registered Dietician)
• Parents should not fall into the trap of offering only “kid-friendly” foods like macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, or french fries. (Rachel Brandeis, Registered Dietician)
• Do not tell children they must eat all their dinner before having dessert. This is using pressure as a feeding strategy, and that will only increase a child’s pickiness. (Rachel Brandeis, Registered Dietician)

Resources

• Rachel Brandeis, Registered Dietician
• American Dietetic Association

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