<!–

–><!–

–>

What We Need To Know | Resources

All Stories

<!–

–>

Comment

Print this Story | E-Mail this Story

<!–a href="#" target="_blank"></a–>

More than a quarter of high school seniors say they don’t date. Instead, according to the University of Michigan’s ‘Monitoring the Future’ report, they’re going to the movies and out to dinner in large groups.

Teens like Richard and Holly, when they go on a date, will also invite a few of their closest friends along. “When you’re on a group date, it’s just more fun,” says Holly, “I think that there’s more variety of things to do when you go out.”

It’s fun, but there’s another reason for the popularity of group dating: kids feel ‘safer’.

As Nancy McGarrah, a licensed psychologist explains, “they are thinking about safety not in necessarily the same way parents are thinking about safety, but they are thinking about rejection.”

“Like [during a] one-on-one date, you’re like, ‘God, what if I say this? Is something bad going to happen?’” laughs 17-year-old Alison Krupp.

But while kids take comfort in their emotional security, experts say parents should still be concerned about their physical safety. More kids, they say, can mean more peer pressure.

“Kids in groups get into just as much trouble,” says McGarrah. “You still need to be aware that, you know, there’s a lot of inappropriate sexual activity that kids will get into; there’s a lot of drugs and alcohol problems that kids will get into, smoking activity – things that parents are not going to want their teens doing.”

So, she says, when sending your teen out on a group date, follow the same advice you would if they were going on an individual date.

“You want to know who the people are,” says McGarrah. “It’s really helpful for the parents to have a network where they can be in touch with each other – and know that we’re all kind of on the same plane, thinking the same way about what are appropriate activities, making sure you check in, kids calling in at certain times, giving curfews – those things still apply.”

And if your teen does get into an uncomfortable situation, says McGarrah, “a lot of parents will say, ‘I’ll give you a code word and if you ever call me and say this code word – you know, Minnesota, whatever- we’ll come get you and we won’t ever ask you any questions about why.’ And that gives kids a safety net.”

What We Need To Know

• Teach your child about healthy relationships by being a good role model. Show them how you compromise, stick up for yourself, give and expect respect and argue – but love your spouse. (Dr. Gail Saltz, psychiatrist)
• Parents need to be very open with their kids and talk about relationships and sexuality – as well as ways of keeping themselves safe. (Dr. Nancy McGarrah, licensed psychologist)
• You are not going to be with your teen at all times during their adolescence. Develop a strong relationship with your teen that includes trust and expectations. (Nancy McGarrah, licensed psychologist)

Resources

• American Academy of Pediatrics
• National Youth Violence Prevention
• University of Michigan, Monitoring the Future

Top ˆ