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“Tweens”- kids between the ages of eight and 12 – and teens reportedly make up over a fifth of the consumer market.

When it comes to the latest fashion trends, many parents are happy if their kids leave the house fully covered. But a new trend has emerged that is making many parents worried -not about how much their kids are wearing, but about the messages they’re sending.

After a recent shopping trip with her eight-year-old daughter, Abigail, Sydney Shipps was angry.

“Mom, can I get this, Mom, can I get this,’” Sydney remembers her daughter asking. “I look, and honest to God, I stopped in my tracks. The shirt – adorable, light blue, pink edging – [had the slogan] ‘I heart boys’. ‘No, [I said,] put it back’.”

To file a formal complaint with the department store, Sydney had to buy the shirt.

Fed up with t-shirts that say ‘keep your paws off’, ‘for entertainment purposes only’, ‘life-size doll’ and other, more obscene sayings and slogans, many parents like Sydney are taking it upon themselves to clean up this multi-million dollar industry.

“I let people know [that] as a parent, that I thought their actions were not responsible,” she says. In a phone conversation with the president of the department store she said: “I am absolutely appalled that you are now targeting my daughter to sell a sex ad.”

(The president reportedly thanked Sydney for her comments, and said the topic would be brought up at the next company meeting.)

Clothing has always been a venue for kids to express themselves, but experts say “tweens” are just too young.

“I don’t think these girls know what messages they’re sending,” explains clinical psychologist Dina Zeckhausen, “I think that they’re several years from really understanding sexuality.”

She says fashions will come and go, but parents still need to explain to their kids the significance of how others view them: “I think it’s important for them to recognize what is the message that they’re putting out – and is this how they want to be perceived in the world. I mean, that there are implications for putting this message out there.”

Experts say parents themselves need to demonstrate self-respect, in the way they dress and act.

And Sydney says parents should remember – “we’re the consumer in these stores. If we do not buy them, they will not sell them.”

Her daughter Abigail agrees: “Just don’t buy the shirts that are inappropriate.”

What We Need To Know

• Until your child starts making their own money, you have the right to approve or disapprove all clothing purchases your children make. (Dina Zeckhausen, PhD, clinical psychologist)




• “Tweens” don’t have a true understanding of the attention they’re getting in public. That can be harmful to them, as they learn to think that people are just attracted to them because of how they look or what they wear. (Carol Drummond, PhD, psychologist)




• Teens with high self-respect make more responsible and healthier choices. Help your teens to build positive characteristics by allowing them to voice their opinions, make their own decisions – and by listening to them. (American Medical Association)




• The goal for adolescents is to individuate from their parents and develop their own identities. They need to try out different roles, but giving them choices that are acceptable to you is one way to keep them from going to far. (Carol Drummond, PhD, psychologist)




• Media literacy is incredibly important. Start talking to your kids at an early age about the messages they see on TV and in magazines. (Dina Zeckhausen, PhD, clinical psychologist)

Resources

• Eating Disorder Information Network (EDIN)
• Center for Media Literacy
• Dads and Daughters: Inspire, Understand and Support Your Daughter
• Girls Incorporated

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