“They don’t know how to be alone. They want the constant over-stimulation that the culture is now promoting.”
– Cindy, mom of overbooked kids
They used to be called the “lazy days of summer.” But these days, many kids don’t have time to be lazy – even during summer vacation. They’re overbooked with lots and lots of activities.
Twins Ali and Ana are busy this summer.
“We go to tennis lessons,” Ali says.
“And I take ballet,” says Ana.
“We’ve done basketball camp.”
Their mom Cindy says their coaches recommended basketball camp. And no doubt, there are benefits to all this activity – learning teamwork, perfecting skills. But…what are they giving up, being so busy?
Dr. Cathy Blusiewicz, a clinical psychologist, suggests families think about what they want their family goals to be for the summer. “What did you want your child to be able to do this summer? Was it to be able to relax and do some reading and spend some time with friends, family, extended family out of town?”
And often, it is parents pushing the frenetic summer schedule.
“Sometimes,” Ana says, “our mom kind of forces us to go out.”
But Cindy says her kids seem to need to keep busy.
“They don’t know how to be alone,” she says. “They want the constant over-stimulation that the culture is now promoting.”
Neighborhoods these days often aren’t what communities were like twenty or thirty years ago. So sometimes kids do need ‘organized fun.’ But experts say, when arranging plans for summer, it’s important to make time for activities and relaxation.
“They have to weight one sport against the other,” Dr. Blusiewicz says, “and decide ‘which one do I like better and which is more beneficial and which one do I have to give up?”
What We Need To Know
Recent research confirms that involvement in extracurricular activities is more than just child’s play. School extracurricular activities and involvement in community clubs and organizations are important in fostering the strengths of youth; strengths that help young people steer away from undesirable behavior.
Such involvement in extracurricular activates helps young people discover and share talents, develop character and competence and often provide the added benefit of close relationships with caring, principled adults outside the home.
The challenge – for children and adults, alike — is to find the proper balance between scheduled time and down time. Experts suggest parents make sure that their children are becoming involved in extracurricular activities for the right reasons; activities in which they have fun and feel happy. If they are participating because they feel in some way that they’re being pressured to or that they need to be good at many things, then that’s not as healthy.
Studies also show that active children thrive emotionally, so it’s all about families finding an appropriate balance. In 2006, the American Academy of Pediatrics warned parents that such pressures and overloaded schedules could result in early onset depression.
Experts suggest that parents think about who else in the family is affected by a child’s activities, making sure to carve out time for family dinners, unstructured playtime for kids, and good old fashioned down time for adults.
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