“Talking about it will not make it happen. It’ll allow you to have a conversation with your child and hopefully gauge- is this a passing fantasy about getting out of something that’s mildly uncomfortable, but that they’re not seriously contemplating or is this some kind of expression of real misery on their part, and that you wouldn’t find that out unless you could get them to tell you how they’ve been feeling.”
– Shannon Croft, M.D., Child Psychiatrist
It can be difficult for parents to tell the difference between the signs of teen depression and typical teen behavior. Yet experts say the risks of missing out on more serious issues is huge, prompting the American Academy of Pediatrics to issue a 160-page guide to help doctors identify and treat mental illness in children and teens.
For almost ten years, Chad McCord suffered silently from severe depression and bipolar disorder. “He said, ‘I always felt this whole time that I was the only one who ever had these thoughts…. that I was the only one that had a problem like this,'” says his mother, Marian McCord. After less than a year of treatment, he committed suicide.
Although depression is highly treatable, experts say only 20% of depressed teens ever receive help.
“As much as we can talk about these issues," explains child psychiatrist Dr. Shannon Croft, "in a lot of places there’s a deep-seeded shame about mental illness and people feel like their emotions or their thoughts are somehow more embarrassing to talk about than their leg or their pancreas. And so when there’s a problem with their thinking or their feeling, there’s a natural inclination to feel ashamed or to have other people say, ‘Oh, just pull yourself together’ or to criticize someone.” “These kids are labeled as far as not trying or not caring or get over it, and they can’t… they can’t,” says Mrs. McCord.
Experts say that parents need to re-think the seriousness of depression. It isn’t just a bad mood that kids can solve themselves. “And it’s going to take a lot of work for people to understand that those approaches not only will they not help," says Dr. Croft, "but they’ll lead to a lot of people not getting treatment and in some tragic cases they’ll be people that’ll go on probably to complete suicides." He says it’s important for parents to look for signs of depression or serious stress…and then treat it just like any other illness. “We can’t say enough and educate groups of people that mental illness and emotional suffering isn’t a sign of internal weakness.”
Chad’s father, Larry McCord adds, “And it’s not something that they bring on themselves, it’s not something that they can fight themselves. They need professional help.”
What We Need To Know
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, as many as one in thirteen adolescents experience symptoms of depression at some time. It can be difficult for parents to recognize, however, and not only because teens often adhere to a don’t-ask, don’t-tell policy when it comes to expressing their emotions. Unlike adults, they may not act sad at all. Some children seem high-strung, and they frequently get into trouble. The misbehavior often leads to misdiagnoses of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, a learning disorder or a conduct disorder.
Depression in teens can look very different from depression in adults. The following symptoms of depression are more common in teenagers than in their adult counterparts:
- Irritable or angry mood – A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.
- Unexplained aches and pains – Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches.
- Extreme sensitivity to criticism – Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure. This is a particular problem for "over-achievers."
- Withdrawing from some, but not all people – While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.
When bringing the subject up with your teenager, experts recommend parents to be reassuring and to listen without lecturing. You should be loving and non-judgmental. Share your feelings. Let your teen know they’re not alone.
Resources
- Leading Health Indicators
- Teen Depression Statistics
- Teens and Depression on Kids Health
- Teen Depression – A Guide for Parents and Teachers
- Family Resource Guide from Chad’s Coalition
- American Academy of Pediatrics
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